little things

This week was a tough one. My sweet granddaddy passed away early Thursday morning, and I would like nothing more than to be with my family right now. He was a quiet man who had grown even quieter in the last two years, but his most-often repeated phrase, said to us every time we packed up and left for Tennessee, "stay between the ditches," has been a quiet mantra in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember. A reminder to keep my eyes on the road and follow my path, even if I swerve a bit trying to stay there.

An unintentional theme this week - faces. Maybe because I'm missing all the ones of friends and family who are so dear to me, maybe because making good friends in a new city where you don't really know a soul is, as anticipated, tough shit. I've been lucky to meet several people - mostly friends of friends - who have been nothing but kind and helpful and fun, but I'm still feeling a little lonelier than I would like. Part of the reason I moved here was to get some space, but here's hoping I'll start a few friendships that feel a little more...effortless...soon. Cross your fingers?

In the meantime, five things that made my week a little sweeter:

I finally made it to Akazienkiez, one of the hipper districts in my neighborhood

springtime colors, wintertime temperatures

smiling cheese

mitte again...whoops

this little face, my favorite of all the faces

amsterdam [part II]

My favorite time spent traveling is usually the time spent wandering around and usually getting lost. Even though Amsterdam was windy and cold the February weekend we were there, it was no exception to this rule/universal truth. The canals are gorgeous, the architecture is charming and the Red Light District is, obviously, very interesting. One of our favorite neighborhoods, De Pijp, was a little bit of a walk south of the city center, but ended up being worth the numb toes.

More crooked buildings

Highlights and must-sees in Amsterdam:

Coffee shop hang

• Abraxas was by far the best coffee shop we went to. Amazing vibe, huge and potent selection of…treats and…accessories? (ok y’all, weed and vaporizers). I can’t exactly remember how many times we frequented Abraxas but it outshone the rest of the coffee shops we went to, which all had a frat party/“LET’S GET FUCKED UP” vibe (probably our mistake – I’m sure there are several other amazing shops we missed). Abraxas is the cooler, chiller big brother of more touristy locations like The Bulldog.

• Van Dobben is an authentic Dutch diner tucked away from the busier streets with amazing croquetten – a traditional Dutch snack, which is basically fried mashed potatoes on a bun – and other small dishes. None of us were brave enough to try one of their hot commodities, “meat salad,” mostly because they couldn’t tell us what kind of meat it was made out of. This type od ambiguous meat is something I’ve slowly gotten used to in Germany…y’all grossed out yet?
• Street waffles. Don’t miss out. I’m already regretting not eating more.

The Old Church (left) is right in the heart of the Red Light District (right)

• Sexmuseum Amsterdam, which is basically the history of porn in print, is a fun diversion for only 4 €. 

• Of course, the Anne Frank House is something that I hope every tourist does when visiting Amsterdam. I loved her diary in middle school, and being able to visit the warehouse where Anne, her family and several others lived was profound and chilling. We had to wait for about an hour, but it was absolutely worth the wait.

Every store we went into in Amsterdam (not because any of us had really budgeted any shopping in, but because it was so cold we had no other choice but to shamelessly look but not buy) was full of GORGEOUS things. Among my favorites were Hutspot, Maison NL, Art Unlimited and two markets we stumbled on – one in De Pijp - and a beautiful book and poster market near the city center.

Almost bought this guy

Next up: Barcelona.

over it.

Snow again. Where's that springtime goodness I've been hearing so much about, Berlin?

fear slipstreams

amsterdam

Amsterdam was full of surprises. First, I was surprised by the trip itself, when my friend Leslie sent me a message a few weeks into my stay here saying “I BOOKED A TRIP!!” (How amazing is she?) Then, a surprise that two other girls, Maggie and Emily, were going to be able to join us. More surprises when Regine and Carsten gave me my plane ticket for my birthday.

The biggest surprise? Amsterdam is gorgeous. It’s also expensive (should have done my research!) and was VERY cold the weekend we were there. Excluding those last two points, the weekend was absolutely perfect. An ideal first trip out of Berlin.

We lucked out on Friday with some sunshine - the most I'd seen since I've been in Europe!

So many of the buildings in Amsterdam are crooked, since the city is built on soft soil that sits below sea level. Can you tell?

We stayed in a houseboat hostel – Vita Nova. The rooms were tiny (duh) but the overall experience of sleeping on a boat and getting a morning wake-up call from a swan was worth the claustrophobia.

This guy woke Leslie up on Saturday morning.

Look out for a post with more details and photos tomorrow. 

two things [part I]

When I was considering the decision to come to Berlin, two thoughts stayed in the forefront of my mind, so much so that it felt like they were rooted in the very center of my forehead, blocking my view. I knew that the only way to get things right again was to smack these thoughts out so I could walk straight and see clearly. First of these was an intense need to reestablish myself as myself. The second was that I needed to find an excuse to write. The moment the Berlin opportunity blurred into focus, I knew it was exactly what I needed to smack me back to life.

I spent the night before my twenty-fourth birthday seeing a band I like a lot but honestly may not remember ten years from now. That concert was my first here in Berlin – six weeks after I landed. The moment I saw that they were making a stop here, I bought a ticket and planned on going solo, partly because six weeks is a long, long, long time for a Nashville girl to go without seeing a show and partly because I thought it would be nice to spend time around people who knew all the lyrics to an album I knew all the lyrics to too. I don’t know if it was the music or the people I met or the fact that I get majorly sentimental every time I officially get a little older, but I walked out into the cold air later that night feeling totally righted. So much clearer. Centered. Even after the beer.

Every year on our birthdays, my mom makes a show out of my and my brother's “last night as an XX-year-old” or our “first meal as a XX-year-old” which always strikes me first as cheesy, and immediately after as sweet and thoughtful and so profoundly motherly it usually (surprise!) makes me cry. So, mama, if you’re listening, my first official act as a 24-year-old was writing this on the notes app on my phone on the train ride home that night. I think this is what they call progress.

back on track

It's pretty typical (and totally embarrassing) of me to completely STOP blogging immediately after I decide to share my blog with people. I have tons of excuses including:

• A week that started in Amsterdam, kept on with two friends in town and ended with a weeknight out that got us home after 5 am
• Lots of new friendships (!) that have kept me busy...thank goodness
• The beginning of a German class
• The worst 24-hour bug I have ever endured
• The fact that I lucked out bigtime with my family/employers and spend most of my free nights hanging out with them, eating incredible food and drinking the best wine I will probably ever drink. Is this real life?

...but I promise this little project of mine will resume next week. 

Xox