I need to tell y'all about something.
That is the secret to culinary gold.
Speckwürfel, glorified German bacon bits, is used in countless dishes here in Berlin. Pastas, salads, soups. I wouldn't put it past these people to find a way to smack some chocolate on these babies and incorporate them into dessert.
Do these exist in the U.S.? My grocery store knowledge thus far has been pretty limited to buying a pound bag of kale, some overpriced cheese and a six-pack and figuring out how to pass kale chips off as dinner three times a week. Someone get back to me on that. I'll be here with the bacon.